wednesday songs

I can hear the city bellowing outside

and Wednesday is groaning out

a lingering goodbye

I am watching your breath rise,

grateful for the air in your lungs

they sing the sun to me

they sing

and there is no longing here

not now, in this calm

there is only the bliss

etched on your skin;

permeating my own

and the sinking feeling disappearing somewhere within

I pour my hopes into a

thought

I let it sit

and learn time does stop

after all

– sheila c.

untitled 08.01.19

i don’t have the words

i only have a blue so wide

and alive

that it breathes on its own

this is the part i don’t like

where Bonnie sits on repeat

where day dreams are nightmares

and memories are knives

digging deeper every time i forget

to forget

I can feel the depths of estrangement pooling

in my guts

it seems

i would be the mass

and you would be the gravity

after all.

– sheila c

flame

I dreamt that the gods picked me out of bed

and shook me violently

they had grown tired of my struggle

and breathed bravery into my lungs

i was not born ready for this

but something has changed

it was desire that made me weak

so I will take those parts you claimed

and build a new fire

a new flame to consume the old

and burn the blame

– Sheila C.

 

 

pink silk

is that what it looks like?

underneath the shade

swaying palms fronds in your eyelids

while the melancholy lingers in silence

i can leave the heartache behind

i can grow new limbs

and teach you where to break them

so i can’t run beside you

you can have this present

and I will take the future

you can have these memories

and I will mute yours

rolling pink silk like the sunset

you wandered into something

and it’s my fault

after all

I left a crack wide open

you barely had to pull back flesh

to find the pulsating mass

that made breaths into gasps

and lust into longing

– sheila cordova

sunflower

i am longing for the warmth

of your light

yellow and gathered and black in the center

i veer closer every morning

arching closer to your beams

i am longing for the sting

of your heat

i know the odds are slim

that you have noticed

me

in this sea of golden creams

softly grounded

while you soar above me

pulsating at the edges

at the very brim

i am cast into your seasons

like the summer

and the spring

winter born and thick

i drink you in

can you feel me

from here in the earth

where i have been?

– sheila c.

untitled 04.09.19

is there anything worse

than losing your arm

before really learning to use it

right before you pump the blood

to your fingertips

and break the space between them

squeezing time in your grip

i could hold you

I could

I could breathe you in and

let out a gasp so deep

it would rattle your bones

but what good is a gasp

in the likeness of a dying breath

what good is strength

in this weakened mess

I am the cherry blossoms

in the park we’ll never see

I am the summer

you will never know to be

– sheila c.

no,

no, I didn’t want to give you this

so I won’t

instead I’ll let the words fall on the page

as they may

with heights outstretched and unpunctuated

standing still in white space

waiting for a grasp

I’m thinking.. you’ll remember this pause

 
it’s not what you thought,

is it?

 

– sheila c.