what heals time?

if time is what heals us? 

Is that a stupid question? 

I look at my watch 

and my arms follow the tick 

and honestly 

I’m actually full of ticks 

I fiddle with my fingers 

and I stroke the keyboard 

like a cat 

I don’t have a pet 

I can’t handle the commitment of long term care 

my fern plant can survive with a glance 

once a  week 

and the paintings only stare back 

if I focus 

i pour my glasses full and heavy 

like the darkness of 1 am 

and the lightness of noon 

I try to find kindness in the cruelty 

of mankind 

and I see it in the innocence of palm 

trees swaying in storms

and I have seen it in the cloud 

that swims past our existence 

sometimes my thighs shake 

and I see god 

but he quickly fades away 

and I wonder if the love we feel is more like 

a thin coating that our eyes can bear 

sort of like the net separating our mortality 

and the ending that defines us 

lord, I hope I find the kindness 

before the net bursts 

and i am silence. 

– sheila cordova