the parable of the athiest

when you were 5

you looked up at the sun

as the clouds split open

to welcome the morning

and you found him.

 

when you were 12

you had been too tired to say goodnight.

the next day,

your grandfather would not wake up

and you questioned him.

 

when you were 15

your first love slept with your best friend.

you watched a towel soak up your blood

after smashing a mirror in the foyer

and you blamed him.

 

when you were 20

you took your first quantum mechanics course.

you understood your disturbing insignificance

in the expanse of the universe

and you erased him.

 

when you were 29

your people washed up on shores.

as the world looked away,

you said

“I don’t know but it’s a worth a try”

and you begged with him.

 

– sc

 

 

 

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73 thoughts on “the parable of the athiest

      1. Yeah an Aussie… I know, don’t worry we have writers, poets, artists and more. Sorry about the cheap reference…. was trying to word goosebumps without resorting to the oft regurgitated ‘braile skin’ prattling. Honestly…. You know how to punchline.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Haha, omg an Aussie! That’s awesome! There’s no doubt in my mind you have a rich and beatiful culture of the arts, man! I thought you were messing with me because we’re balls deep in the winter here. I mean, I live in Miami, FL so it’s summer year round but it dropped down to 60 and that’s sweater weather for us. Also, not a cheap reference at all, I actually genuinely dug it. Thank you for being so kind by the way, I really appreciate it. πŸ™‚

          Liked by 2 people

          1. The pleasure is mine in reading, on this lazy afternoon. It’s 95 here (I believe Fahrenheit) but I’m stuck at home, behind a demon blaring rays into me instead of enjoying the rays outside. Gotta finish some work and sneaking peaks at reads in between.
            Question ‘your people’ what’s your background if it’s not too prude.

            Liked by 1 person

              1. We’re unique aren’t we….. Poetry’s in our veins…. Ain’t going away. And your other half Hispanic, meh may as well be full Arab as they intermixed a lot and until this day, in Spain it is one of the most culturally diverse places of harmony that existed. The sciences, arts and feats of human accomplishment not to mention peace and harmony has never been matched in civilisation…..

                Liked by 1 person

                  1. We all are…. I managed to find elders who have kept a lineage record of my family for 1450 years…… The site of it is mesmerising…. 2 meters long and 1 meter wide with a massive tree with tiny writing, but at the same time consoling

                    Liked by 1 person

  1. I chewed on this one awhile. Overall I like it and empathize with the “progression” of faith. It reminds me of the melancholy reflected in the song “When I Was 17.”

    I’d argue about the term atheist, however. I think of an atheist unequivocally rejecting God and religion. You know, the “opiate of the masses” position. In your poem, however, there is the hint of turning back, even as life events caused the poet to turn away over the years after blaming God.

    The early events, the beginning of a serendipitous faith, the death of a loved one, love turned sour, and finally the “education” about the world β€” are natural and to be expected. So my judgment on the early faith was it roots were shallow.

    However, the last stanza is very impactful. “Your people washed up on shores as the world looked away …;” a stark departure from the death of a grand mentor, or a cheating cad, or the stark and stainless statements of science.

    She is more of an agnostic than an atheist. In the very pit of despair she is willing to recant and beg for God to be more real than her ability to conceive him.

    Well done, as usual.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Skip. I’m glad you liked it. This is my personal story. I was born into an extremely Catholic family. Mass everyday at 6 AM. Catholic school for most of my education. I was definitely not agnostic or atheist always questioning but still a believer.. When I was 20, I delved into science and I garnered a cynicism towards religion and the religious, as well. When I studied history and theology I became even more cynical.. It all seemed so foolish to me. All these people warring about the same stories in different languages, when really it’s all the same shit. It frustrated me to no end. I gave up God entirely during this time. I was an atheist. I rejected the idea of God and I laughed at the idea that a bearded fellow controlled my destiny and the destiny of everyone I knew because really once you reach a certain level of education in the sciences and theology it becomes almost a joke to consider the possibility of these myths to hold any tangible value outside of the moral implications. However as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gained a bit of wisdom about everything I know. That is, I know nothing. And the tragedy around me, it overwhelms me to the point where I do pray and I’m not sure who or what I am praying to or if speaking loudly in my own mind can be considered prayer but I’ve adopted Pascals Wager in a sense. My logical mind tells it’s all fallacy but my heart, my soul.. it tells me I have nothing to lose if there is even a chance someone is listening. I hope that makes sense.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. When I was young, I didn’t think bitterness was natural. The only options seemed to be filling and sweet. Bitterness was something to be rejected and forgotten, swept away, and refused. But bitterness has its place, too. Bitterness seems to digest what before the stomach was not able to digest. The new nutrients released from the previously undigestables aid and strengthen the system in newfound ways, remarkable and uplifting. Bitter may not ever be sweet, but life although bitter may contain albeit some moment of lift.

    Liked by 1 person

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