when you were 5
you looked up at the sun
as the clouds split open
to welcome the morning
and you found him.
when you were 12
you had been too tired to say goodnight.
the next day,
your grandfather would not wake up
and you questioned him.
when you were 15
your first love slept with your best friend.
you watched a towel soak up your blood
after smashing a mirror in the foyer
and you blamed him.
when you were 20
you took your first quantum mechanics course.
you understood your disturbing insignificance
in the expanse of the universe
and you erased him.
when you were 29
your people washed up on shores.
as the world looked away,
“I don’t know but it’s a worth a try”
and you begged with him.