I felt a fuzz
not in my head
not like the fuzz of heat
in the summer with the hot swell
rising from the concrete
but a literal fuzz
I see him crawling
up my arm
and inching
closer to my head
years ago,
I would’ve killed him
i was fresh
i didn’t understand life
it’s no excuse
i feel it now
i place a fork near him
and watch him crawl onto it
sensing escape?
he is happy today
“okay fuzz” i say
god was kind today
– sheila c.
I unhinged the cabinets
and left the doors
by the steps
i thought we could use them
to close up the holes
in the family room
my grief is hardened
and it’s “fuck all anyway”,
you said.
I can save the china
and take it with me
I guess
– sheila c.
the glass in the backseat
has been clinking
for the past few hours
of gravel and flashes
a toast has been held for 3 state lines
I think I am losing my mind
my window is covered in dead bodies
and their wings
the sky is dripping into the forest
and I am attempting to collect drops
I want to fill myself with the trees
I want to be the straw-man of this place
I want to open the door
stretch out my bones
and slide into green
– sheila c.
here is a smattering of your dignity
there is not a dry eye in the place
your perseverance has made addicts of all
of them
you’re such a phoenix
making your own ashes
trying to glue yourself together
again
-sheila c.
when he comes
the hair clumps in hand
he will root them back
like flowers in the spring
when the dirt
becomes mud
it will grow again
somewhere else
i will grow again
somewhere with-in
-sheila c
when you sprang forth from her
did you have any idea
that your embattled mass
would be the proud flesh
she would hold in her arms?
that your life
was tied to her life?
that her life
was your life ?
that she like our sisters
all bleed in their beds
because all of our beds
are the same
and we will always
bleed in them
some of us
more than others
but we will always bleed
in them
there is with your breath
a battle cry
one that she labored for
that she pushed out
for your strength
baby, you were not born
you were birthed
and so on
and so on
– Sheila C.
you must find my hair coiled in your bathroom
i brushed so many knots out near your sink
i must’ve covered it with fingerprints
i must’ve left my sweat
and my breath in the shape of sighs
and gasps
on your glass
in your air vents
I know i’ve never left
not really
not in any sense
– sheila c.
